


Concrete Angel

by Luvingtheshadowhunters



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: (That even I cringe at and I wrote them), Abuse, Abusive! Luke, Anorexia/ Bulimia, Bad parent! Robert Lightwood, Concrete angel, Cutting, Depressing, Eating Disorders, F/M, Freeform, Graphic Rape Scenes, Homophobia, In seventh grade. I was/am a troubled child, M/M, Malec, Martina Mcbride - Freeform, Please go into this carefully, Sexual/ Physical abuse, Shadowhunters - Freeform, Sizzy - Freeform, The first few chapters I wrote in seventh grade, Yes another depressing fanfiction, clace, tmi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-14 14:05:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11784717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luvingtheshadowhunters/pseuds/Luvingtheshadowhunters
Summary: Clary is abused and raped on a daily basis by her mom's boyfriend Luke. Nobody knows what's going on until the day Luke brings her in for the appointment with Magnus that she missed. That's when the Shadow world she'd been hidden from comes to hit her full force. She'll also soon find she's not alone in her suffering. WARNING:Rape,Self harm, eating disorders, homophobia





	1. Let The Bodies Hit The Floor

Smack! The sound of Luke's hand connecting with my face seems to echo throughout the room. "You little clumsy bitch!" I bite my tongue to keep from crying out, that's what he wants. A stinging pain in my left cheek and a major head ache starting, I walk over to the broom and start to sweep up the mess I just made accidentally dropping the glass cup. "You know, I'm not thirsty anymore. When you're done with that, I'm getting hungry." I nod warily. He narrows his eyes, looking me up and down, and I wasn't sure if he meant hungry for food. But then he turns, starting to leave. "I'll be in the living room. I'm feeling a hamburger."

Once I know he was out of ear shot, I make a sound of disgust. How did I end up with this lunatic? I don't argue though. After I'm sure that every shard of glass is up, Luke with a piece glass in his foot is not a happy Luke, I start on some hamburgers. Letting the meat defrost, I make my way to the bathroom to access the damage. A nasty red hand print shines brightly on the side of my face, and a bruise is sprouting on my cheekbone.

Well... it could be worse. Actually this is good, easily fixed with some concealer. I pull a pallet from my stash, and dab it carefully on the injury. I make sure to get a color that was exactly my skin color. It was as if nothing just happened in the kitchen, the only reminder the slight stinging pain and the slight shine to my pale skin. I smile and go to the kitchen to finish Luke's dinner.

Just as I am finishing them up, my mom walks in carrying one of her latest paintings and talking animatedly on the phone. She looks in my direction smiling and waving, I gesture to the hamburgers and raise my eyebrows. She holds up one finger telling me she would take one. I nod, and pull out two plates putting a burger on each. I can't afford to eat anything, I'd already eaten breakfast and lunch, and Luke doesn't want me at a weight over one hundred. He enjoyed the way my bones looked is what he said. He liked feeling as if he dominated, though I was already tiny and he was naturally huge. His reasoning made little sense.

I shake my head to get that thought out of my head. Finishing the burgers the way they like them I take them out to the living room and hand them out. "Thank you," Luke says with a bright smile planting a kiss on my forehead. I glare at him where my mom can't see and his smile barely falters. If I didn't know him so well, I wouldn't be able to see the warning in his eyes. So I nod politely and turn to head up to my bed room. "Aren't you going to eat Clary?" My mom stops me to ask. I shoot a glance at Luke, who is shaking his head behind my mom. "No, I'm not hungry." Her eyes look concerned, but she nods and turns to her burger.

I run up the stairs without a backward glance. Locking myself in my room, I thank God my mom is home tonight. I plop down on my bed, and pull out my cell phone. Five text from Simon. I sigh and open them.

Hey.

_Clary?_

_Do you want me to come over?_

_Are you okay? What's going on?_

_Dude I'm worried text me back please_

Urg! I hadn't told him anything... but one time he caught me covering a bruise with concealer. He tried asking me what happened but I wouldn't tell him. He hasn't let it go, but thank God he hasn't told anyone either.

I _'m fine. Chill Simon._

Unsurprisingly the reply is almost instantaneous.  _Oh good. Wat u want 2 do 2morrow?_

I smile, Saturday. I can go out, Luke has work and Mom is going to dinner with one of her possible costumers.

 _Hmmm how bout Pandemonium?_  The club occasionally let sixteen year olds and up come. I love these nights, a night to just... get away from everything. Luke mostly. My phone goes off and I look down.

S _ure. M33t me th3r3 8?_

I type my reply,  _C u th3r3_. Finally I plug my phone into the charger and curl up into my blankets to go to sleep.

"Clarissa?" I turn to see Luke standing in the door way of my room. I grit my teeth. My mom was home, what was he doing? She must have gone to bed early. He smiles, a big, toothy, horrible smile. He steps forwards and starts feeling my breast through my sports bra. Tears are in my eyes, what did I do to deserve this? I stare off into the distance trying to forget what was going on.

Soon he got tired of my bra, and pulled it over my head, throwing it to the ground. I hear him moan as he licks my right breast and cups the other in his hand. I fight the urge to throw him off. His mouth moves from my breast to my mouth and starts kissing up my jaw and to my mouth. I kiss him back, because I know what happens if I don't. As he kisses me, he pushes me anything but gently down on the bed. He unbuckles his belt and pulls his pants down, then follows his shirt till he is standing naked in front of me.

He lays on top of me, I can barely breath when all his weight is on me. "Your turn," he whispers in my ear. I feel as he pulls my pants and underwear down till we are both naked. I feel disgusted as he enters me. He moans and screams as he goes up and down on me. Why couldn't my mom wake up? I silently curse her deep sleeping. I feel so dirty and violated as he releases in me and then collapses on top of me knocking the air out of me.

"That was fun. Getting a bit soft, but I'm sure you can fix that. No breakfast tomorrow." I keep myself from saying something smart. He pulls out of me, and dresses. And as he covers me up, I go unconscious.

I wake up screaming. I turn into the pillows to muffle the up the monster himself wouldn't be a good idea. When I finally quiet down, breathing heavily, I remind myself it was just a nightmare. But that's the thing, a voice in the back of my head reminds me. This is your reality. Of course that's true. Taking one last deep breath, I get up to go get a glass of water. Quietly making my way down the stairs, I listen carefully to make sure no one woke up. I let out a sigh of relief when I hear Luke's snoring from his room.

I finish my glass of water, and get back to bed hurriedly. I'm asleep almost instantly.

I was woken by a bright light. My eyes flutter open, and I see the sun shining brightly through the window. Stretching, I sit up and rub my eyes. When I'm fully awake, I take a deep breath and throw my legs over the side of the bed. I catch sight of my beeping phone and pick it up. A message from Luke.

I _'ll be home at ten tonight. Your Mom wont b home till midnight. Be there and delete this from your phone._  A sob catches in my throat as I read.

I quickly delete the text, and go down stairs. It says it's ten on the stove clock. I walk over to the pantry and pull out the scale Luke keeps hidden in there for me. I step on it. 97 lbs. I couldn't afford to sneak breakfast, I was to close to 100. Well ten hours till I have to meet Simon, and I got the house to myself. Smiling, I plop down on the couch and turn on the TV.

I watch TV all day, a luxury I rarely enjoyed. I skip lunch so I might be able to drink something at the club tonight. Around six thirty I take a shower and blow dry my hair so at the very least my red hair won't be frizzy. I put it in a side pony tail, and go to my closet to find a nice dress. I find a red one that I had out grown about a year ago, and had been waiting in my closet for the little girl next door to grow into it. That had been twenty pounds ago though. I easily slipped into it now.

Adding some black flats, and a little mascara I was as ready as I ever would be and it was seven forty. I take one more look in the mirror, and I want to cry. I had been honestly pretty at one point. Now I was a scrawny girl with flat hair and makeup covering my skin. I force myself to look away, and hurry to the door.

I called a taxi, my Mom couldn't afford to buy a car when I turned sixteen. Besides it was Newyork,who drived? It was about a fifteen minute drive from my apartment to Pandemonium. Simon was already waiting for me. "Hey Fray," he says smiling as I get out the cab. "You wearin' that old dress again?" he asks eyeing my red dress. I look down pretending to be surprised. "Oh yea! I lost a few pounds I guess. Didn't even realize this was that old thing," I laugh and then hurry past him to the door.

"Clary, just a few pounds?" he asks doubtfully.

"Yea Si, I'm fine. Come on, I have to be home by ten." Simon looks a little worried, but follows me through the door. Someone pushes past us, and I look up to see a blue haired guy standing there. A cute blue haired guy. I smile at him as he turns back to hurriedly apologize. He doesn't smile back but goes on his way into the crowd of dancing people. I sigh, oh well. No one wants the skinny sixteen year old with a twelve year old body.

I pull out my phone and set a timer for nine thirty. "We have an hour and thirty minutes. Let's do this," I say following the blue haired guy's lead and walking into the crowd. Simon laughs and follows. I see a table with some margaritas, and pick up two handing one to Simon. Taking a sip, I step back onto the dance floor. A wisp of blue hair distracts me though. I try to nonchalantly walk towards him.

Then I catch sight of a pretty girl with long black hair, and I see the blue haired guy eyeing her. Well... she is beautiful, and muscular and tall. In fact she's perfect. She gestures him over, and he goes over and leans in as if to kiss her. Something silver starts to... unravel from her wrist? I unconsciously take a step forward to get a better look, but they don't even spare a glance in my direction.

"Dammit, I should have known," The guy growls looking at the snake like thing coming towards him. The girl just smile devilishly. I can hear Simon calling me, but I can't tear my eyes from the scene before me. Two black shadows are now approaching. As they get closer I can make out two guys, one with golden hair and one with black hair, yhe one with black hair resembling the girl with the bracelet.

They move towards the guy, who now has the silver bracelet wrapped all the way around him, and looks to be in need of some oxygen as his face was becoming the color of his hair. I look around me, is no one else seeing this? The guy with the blonde hair pulls out a sword like object. "Balthazar," he screams, the name seemingto be a password to make the sword glow. "Good work Isabelle," the black haired guy congratulates the girl who now has a name. Isabelle nods, barely even acknowledging this. "Any last words?" the blonde haired guy asks the boy on the floor.

Murder?! I'm internally screaming, but still can't move. "Jace," Isabelle says rolling her eyes. "Don't be so dramatic." Jace grins, "Well it's only fair. I'd want to have some. Though I never am in this situation as I am pretty great." Over confident much? Without another word Jace launches the sword forward and... And I'm not really sure what happens then. The blue haired boy... melts? Explodes? And I... I scream. Loud.

Jace's grin disappears as he looks towards me, and Simon appears behind me. "Clary? Clary, what's wrong?" His voice sounds very distant as he ask me this. "Did you-did you see that? Him, the boy. Jace, that blonde boy he killed him. I... look Simon just look." When I turn Simon towards them, he looks as if he can't see anything. Looks right through Jace in fact.

Now that I'm looking I notice something that almost sends me running. There's no body. What did that sword do to him!? Simon turns to me, "Come on Clary, I think it's time to get you home. You've had too much to drink." Drink! I didn't even get to drink anything, my drink was broken on the ground in front of me. "What drink! Simon, can't you see them?" He doesn't respond, he just takes my arm and drags me toward the front door.

I don't fight it, maybe all those blows from Luke had really gotten to me. Simon signals a cab, and pushes me in first. It doesn't take long to get home. I rest my head one more time on Simon's shoulder before I get out. "Get some rest Fray." I nod. "I will, sorry I ruined your night."

He smiles, "My night wasn't ruined. But if you wanted to get my attention, an imaginary murder scene wasn't really the right angle. Maybe try for a bikini biker kinda look." He winks at me, and the cab drives off.

Rolling my eyes, I start up the stairs to my apartment. My crazy old neighbor's cat was wondering around. When I get to the apartment, I check the time on my phone. Nine twenty nine. Were we really already there for an hour and a half? It didn't seem like that long. I sigh and turn off the timer I had set earlier. When I open the door, I almost gasp in surprise. Luke is sitting there. "Where have you been?" My palms start sweating and I wipe them on my dress. "I…I…uh."


	2. Paper Crowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paper Crowns By: Alec Benjamin
> 
> But you hold your ground, though your kingdoms in flames  
>  Cause it’s the story of a queen who’s castle has fallen to the sea  
>  Knowing there’s no one who will be a king that will come and save his queen
> 
>  
> 
> When all she needs, and all she wants, and all she finds  
>  When all she is, and ever was, is compromised

A/N I know. Some of this will be cringy. I was a cringy seventh grader. I like to believe I've become less cringy. Give it a few more chapters. 

 

                                                                                                          

 

"You uh," Luke mocks me.

"I'm sorry, I just... you said that you weren't gonna be home till ten. So I thought..."

"You thought wrong," he interrupts me. "You don't leave the house without my permission. I got here thirty minutes ago. We could have started thirty minutes ago." I flinch as he sets his mug of coffee down and advances on me. "And as punishment, I don't want you eating lunch or breakfast tomorrow." Okay. I can do that. It could have been worse. "And this of course," he grins evilly at me.

I flinch again as he lifts his hand and snatches me by my hair, throwing me down. "No please, just please," I whimper as the first kick is aimed at my ribs. Luke growls angrily and stomps on my ankle. I don't think I heard anything crack at least, thank God.

"No speaking bitch." I lay there, staring glassy eyed at Luke as he hits and kicks me to his satisfaction. I don't make a noise, I'm not going to give him that kind of satisfaction. Before long, blackness appears at the edges of my vision. And then everything is gone. Luke, the living room, everything.

* * *

I wake up to light filtering through my curtains. I'm in my bed and it takes a second to remember what happened, and how I got there. Then I become aware of the horrible ache that is spread throughout... pretty much my whole entire body. "Ugh," I groan, pulling my unwilling body into a sitting position. There didn't seem to be anything fatal or that would keep me from moving throughout my day as normal from the waist up. I throw my purple blanket off to assess the bottom half. Legs, fine. I look down at my bare feet. And almost pass out. My left ankle is a purple color. I try flexing it and am filled with the utmost relief when it moves. But it hurts. Enough that I probably shouldn't be walking on it.

I fall back onto the pillows and groan. What was I going to do? Then I catch site of a note on my dresser. I am relieved yet again, it's from my mom.

_Luke told me you tripped and hurt your ankle. You gotta be more careful sweetie. Simon called, he wants you to meet him at Java Jones if you're up for it. I think he said Eric was doing poetry? I'm going to be out for a meeting today until 2, try to be home by then. There's some things we need to talk about. Be careful and tell me if that ankle gets any worse Love Mom._

Tripped my ass, I think. Oh well. At least I get to hang out with Simon for a little while. Even if it is to listen to Eric's horrible poetry.

I look at the clock. 8 am. Okay well let's get ready. I swing my feet over the side of my bed, and slowly let them sink into my soft white carpet. So far, so good. And then I stand. And scream in pain. No one must be home, because no one comes running. And then my phone rings. "Hello."

"Hello," the unrecognizable voice on the other line says.

"Who is this?" I ask nervously.

"I am one of the murdering hooligans from the club last night. I'm sorry if we got off at a rough start I'm just..."

"Simon," I say exasperated. He laughs. "Hey are you coming?" I debate, I don't think I'm going to be able to walk.

"I'm sorry Simon. I hurt my ankle, and I don't think I'm going to be able to get up there."

"Oh," he says sounding disappointed. "Yea your mom said that, but I thought I'd check."

"It's okay."

"What happened?"

I hesitate. I can't tell him the truth, but I hated lying to him. "I-I tripped."

"Really?" he says suspicious. "Clary I'm worried about you. You've lost a lot of weight, you're always getting injured, your wrists are always bandaged, and you've started flinching every time I sit by you. What's up?"

Was he really that observant? "Simon I'm fine really. Don't worry. I'm just clumsy." I hope I was convincing enough. There was nothing I wanted more than to tell Simon. But I couldn't burden him.

"At least let me come over there and take care of you. If you can't walk..." If it will get him off my back more like it. Plus it will be nice to still get to hang with Simon. And... I really can't walk. "Fine Si. See you soon." And with that all that's left to do is wait.

I look around the room before picking up the sketch pad by my bed and start doodling. It's the same image over and over again. I don't even know what it is. But I've been drawing it a lot lately. Maybe I should ask Simon. Not long after that Simon peeks his head into my room. He smiles sadly and comes to sit at the foot of my bed. "How you feeling Fray?" I roll my eyes in a show of his overreaction. And then he gasp.

"Clary! What happened?" I look at him confused.

"I told you, I tripped..." He shakes his head, anger replacing the shock on his face.

"Not you ankle. Your face, your arms, your legs..." I furrow my eyebrows and then look down at myself. Bruises splotched my skin, and there was a hand print on my upper arm. "I-I," I couldn't explain this. I panicked. And then I broke down sobbing. The anger in his face is replaced by something gentler and then he puts his arms around me.

"Clary. Please if someone is hurting you. Please tell me." I shake my head, I couldn't.

"Simon I can't tell you. They'll get you to. Just please don't tell anyone."

"Clary I can't just ignore this," he starts angrily.

"You have to. If you want to keep me alive, you have to."

Simon's eyes widen, and he rubs my back. "I won't let that happen..."

"You won't have a choice. You have to promise Simon."

Simon seems to be having an internal battle, confliction clear in his features. Finally he seems to come to a decision. "Fine Clary. If... if it will keep you alive."

Tears filled his eyes, surprising me. "Simon?"

"I just don't like seeing you like this." And I hadn't even told him the worst things Luke does to me. Or what I do to myself, nor do I plan to. Suddenly it was turned around, and I was the one comforting him. I hug him tightly.

"It will all be all right. It will go away in a few years. I swear." He nods and I feel his tears fall onto my shoulder.

"Just don't die on me Clary." I was astonished.

"Simon. I'm not going to die. I'm going to be fine."

"But..." "No buts. I'm going to be fine," I say firmly.

He nods reluctantly, and takes off his glasses and wipes his eyes dry. "Now let's see that ankle." I nod and back up into my pillows so I can put my foot in his lap. He holds my ankle tenderly, gentler than I thought was possible for Simon, and examines it carefully. "I don't think it's broken, but it's definitely sprained. Bad. You shouldn't be walking on it."

"Okay good thing it's summer," I joke grinning. Simon doesn't smile back he just nods and lays my foot back on the bed. Oh no... Was this secret I had been keeping so long gonna ruin our friendship.

"Simon, lighten up." The anger in his eyes returns.

"This isn't a situation to be taken lightly Clary," he snaps.

I shake my head and sigh, "Can we just go watch some TV?"

Simon sighs too. "Fine." He gets up and walks over to the door, and then looks back.

"Oh right you can't walk," he says with a grin. It was totally fake, I could tell but it was better than fighting. He comes over and lifts me up.

"Thanks," I say.

"Anything for my favorite girl." I giggle and he shakes his head. "Only you," and before I can ask him what he means by that, he is walking me down the stairs and setting me on the couch.

"Did you want some breakfast?" He asks looking down at me. I squirm uncomfortably.

"I-I'm not allowed to eat breakfast today..."  
"What do you mean you're not allowed to eat breakfast today?" I mess with the hem of my shirt, my mom must have changed me out of my dress last night before the bruises started forming.

"I'm, I'm just not allowed to. Punishment for... for going out last night." I see guilt flash in his eyes. "Just forget about it Simon. I suggested we left my house at all. Look I don't get time away from this very often, can you just let me enjoy it." That shut him up.

Finally he turned on the TV and sat down beside me. I smile and lay down with my feet on the pillow in his lap. And then I enjoy a relaxing day with Simon on my couch. Like old times. Before all this. Before Luke. Before my life took a turn for the worst.


	3. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter how hard I try  
> Youre never satisfied  
> This place is not a home  
> I think I'm better off alone

"I hate this anime. All they do is have sex and talk in Chinese," I say after a while of watching the little figures run across the screen.

"It's Japanese," Simon corrects.

I roll my eyes and hold my hands up in mock surrender, "Cuff me." I then snatch the remote, despite Simon's protest. I turn the channel quickly and then throw it back at him. Simon looks to see what I turned on and raises and eye brow.

"Sponge Bob?" I shrug, "Your never to old for Sponge Bob." He laughs and sets the remote down, thankfully not changing it back. And then I catch site of the time. 1:30.

"Simon," I say panicking. "Are you okay?" Simon asks, his eyes looking me up and down for the amputated limb I guess he thought had shown up in the last few seconds. "Its 1:30!" He waits a moment to see if I was gonna continue. "And?" he finally ask.

"And," I say not believing he wasnt seeing the problem. "My mom cant see me like this!" I indicate the bruises covering my body. The anger from earlier was returning, I could see it.

"And what would you like me to do about it? Wave my magic wand and. Wait a second I dont have a magic wand." I glance nervously at the clock, 1:34.

"Can you just take me to the bathroom please?" "Why?" he says probably confused at the apparent sudden change of subject.

"I already told you why!" Simon sighs exasperatly, "Fine," he lifts me from the couch and takes me to the bathroom, setting me down on the closed toilet seat. "But I dont know what g-"

I had pulled out the make up I kept under the sink, and started dabbing concealer every where it needed.

"Oh," Simon whispers. I take a deep breath, "Just keep it together please, when my mom gets here." He shrugs, putting on an unconcerned facade. "Im fine Clary."

"Good, stay that way."

When I was done, I put my arms up like a toddler who wanted to be... carried. Despite himself, Simon cracked a grin and let me wrap my arms and legs around him.

I really did feel like a toddler this way, only magnified by how short I was. We continued to watch Sponge Bob after that, at least I did. I dont think Simon was paying attention.

Around two I hear a key jiggling in the door and put the TV on mute.

My mom comes holding about ten bags of groceries in her arms. I feel guilty, "Oh Mom, I could of helped you with that."

She shakes her head at the same time Simon does, "Your hurt Clary. Its fine. Simon, do you mind coming and helping me with the last few?"

Simon smiles, "Not at all Mrs. Garroway." He removes my feet from his lap, and joins my mom in getting how ever many more groceries my mom has gotten.

She doesnt like going to the grocery store, so when she does go she gets alot of stuff.

I felt kinda useless, and tried fluffing the pillows and setting them up right on the couch. "What are you doing Clary?" Simon's voice comes from the door way.

I drop the pillow I was holding and lean back on the couch, "Nothing." He shakes his head, and sets his armful of groceries on the table.

"Hey Clary?" Mom says from the door way. You've got to be kidding me. "Look what I got you." Crutches. She got me Crutches.

"I thought if you and Simon still wanted to go, you could use these." Not that I really wanted to be seen in public with these, but that wasnt a bad idea.

"Thanks Mom," I say cheerfully. She nods and then comes and sits by me. "Look before you go, I just want to let you know.." she seemed to be having a hard time spitting it out.

"You wanted to let me know what?"

"We're going to be staying at Luke's farm house for a little while soon." "Oh," I say nervously. "For how long?"

"For.. for the rest of the Summer." "What?" I scream standing up and completely forgetting about my ankle.

I fall over but before I fall Simon, who I hadnt seen had come to stand beside me, caught me. "Thanks," I mutter to which his only reply is a curt nod.

"Sweetie, its only a few more weeks and.." "But I have art classes and Simon. And we were going to plan a end of Summer party!"

"Ill pay you back for the art classes. And youll see Simon when you get back. As for the party, youll live with out it."

Something about the way she said that made a part of me a little weary, but I didnt dwell on it.

"Im not going." Anger flashes in my Mom's eyes. "You will do what ever I tell you to do, I am your mother."

"Not this. Simon let's go." I started crutching, or hopping?, to the door. Simon uncomfortably followed, "Bye Mrs. Garroway," he calls before I slam the door between us.


End file.
